One of my friends has some long-term guests staying at his house. From what he tells me, it seems he’s feeling a little “displaced” in his own home. Maybe because his guests are older but it seems they like things - well - amplified: the heat is higher, the tv is louder. He called me from a wash house while laundering a comforter because his guests had used all the bedding. He seemed mildly discomposed but because he’s got that French thing going on he cloaked it under a veil of dry humor.
Staying with friends or relatives when we travel (or for whatever reason) is not like staying at a hotel. Here are 10 things I read that made me laugh, things we can do when visiting our friends to improve our chances of being invited back (or at the least not kicked out):
Determine the degree of your connection. If you don’t know the names of the kids of your potential host, don’t even ask; book a hotel and stop by for a brief visit.
Don’t overstay your welcome. Keep in mind the adage about fish and houseguests smelling bad after three days.
Accommodate your hosts’ schedules. Unlike you, they are probably not on holiday, so allow them to run their errands and live their lives. And please, don’t monopolize the house computer.
Don’t expect them to play tour guide. They’ve been to the local attractions countless times.
Bring your own toiletries. Your hosts will no doubt gladly supply you with something you’ve forgotten, but they’re not running a spa. Don’t drain their expensive shampoo.
Control your kids. Check with your host about any house rules, too. And no pets without express prior approval.
Clean up after yourself. Make your bed daily and keep the guestroom tidy. If you’re sleeping on the sofa, covert the area back to the living room by day and don’t leave personal items scattered about. The bathroom requires special attention: No gobs of toothpaste in the sink, dental floss hanging out of the garbage can, or hair left in the shower drain.
Help with meal preparation. Your host may tell you not to lift a finger, but surely won’t object to you making the salad and clearing the table.
Don’t eat them out of house and home. Head to the store and purchase a few staples and a gourmet item your host may enjoy. You should also either cook a meal for them or stake them out to dinner during your stay.
Remember the courtesies. Arrive bearing a small gift, bottle of wine, or item from your hometown. Afterward, send a Thank You note and perhaps a few photographs.
The biggest holidays are behind us and surely some of us have visited or had visitors in the past few months. I’m sure somebody will laugh out loud after reading this!
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